Wednesday, August 20, 2008

tHe bEsT tHAt I cAN BE!!!

I was thinking to myself how much my needs have evolved. How when i left the university, all i wanted to do was work in an oil company, enjoy the plenty travel benefits, fat allowances, salary, e.t.c. For me, success was working in an oil company, anything less than that was failure. I thought one of my friends who resigned from her oil company job here in Naija to go and be with her hubby in jand to be crazy. What????...leave an oil company job for what?.....that'd be a joke!

"Oh common girl!, family comes first before career!" she said to me when i wailed and ranted to her, i thought she had lost it! It was a silly thing to do as far as i was concerned at that time.....now, many years down the line, i don't think so anymore. Success is relative, one man's success could be another's failure.

I spent precious years writing every oil company test, attending all oil company interviews (atleast the ones i was invited for, tho not many sha.....woreva!), Praying & trusting God for oil company job that i forgot to appreciate where God put me. If God knew i was going to be here, then why did he allow me spend five years of my life in the university studying Engineering!....didn't make sense to me at all!. Didn't make sense to Joseph either that he was sold into slavery by his own brothers, how were his dreams to come true?? God is all-knowing, He sees beyond the now...

There has always been an urge, a pull in my soul to excel (well...you could say everybody has that pull) but for me it's something deeper, something like it's my make-up, most times, i get all lazy and laid back, i try to push it back but it keeps tugging at my soul. I was made for the UP life!, i can't live the life of mediocrity, i was made to SUCCEED! Nywayz, now i'm constantly trying to improve my self. I want to be the best at what i'm doing, i want to set new records, i want to discover new heights, i want to be an industry shaker...yes!, that is what i want to be. I admire my boss, quite intelligent. the way he carries the crowd......commendable!, i want to be able to hold people's attention like that when i give speeches, when i make presentations....oh well, it comes with practise & i've decided to practise & give myself the best of opportunities.....Really, in all these things, i have the advantage of having Christ in me, it makes the whole process easier....

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

A young girl's palaver...

Nkechi was totally drained. The hot afternoon sun drummed into her ears. The walk from her school seemed longer than usual, the long winding path was unending. The relief she felt when the cool water from Mr Mondi's tap streamed down her head could not be explained. She dropped her back pack & leaned against the white washed wall of Mr. Mondi's shop.

"Good afternoon ", she greeted startling Adaku, Mr Mondi's eldest daughter from sleep. Adaku always does what Igbos call sleeping muranya with her head straight up and her hand supporting her chin resting against the counter, she would sleep, unless you look well, you'd never know she was sleeping. "How are you?" she stuttered recovering from her slumber. Nkechi muttered a fast response and quickly walked past to the gate leading into the main house. She wasn't ready for Adaku's incessant complaints. She complained about everybody in the compound. She was a school drop-out who did nothing but stay in her father's shop catching the latest gossips and news. She had more issues to deal with.

Mr Kweku caught her cheating in the physics test today. Funlola had shown her the test questions & answers, she said she got it from a form one student. She was totally lost in the act when Mr Kweku crept up behind and caught her red handed!, A lot of oohs & aahs arose from her classmates, she tried hiding the paper but it was too late, he collected her answer sheet, tore it & dragged her to the principal's office. The principal demanded to see her parents. She will never forget the looks she got from her classmates when she got back after seeing the principal, everyone frowned and looked at her as if she had committed murder. Even funlola hissed at her!, she couldn't believe it, the same person who gave her the expo?, it was unbelieveable! How will she explain this to her father??, she was in soup, he’d kill her!

Nkechi missed her mum so much and at moments like this, she missed her even more. She died during childbirth. She was the only child of her parents for a very long time before her mum conceived but died during child birth. She and her father lived together alone, he refused to re-marry. Out of desperation, she tried calling Funlola but her phone was switched off. She needed to speak with her, she had long legs, she could pull strings and things would happen. She was dating the senior prefect who had his way with most teachers. She knew Funlola deliberately switched off her phone to avoid her. An idea came to her, she would feign illness and skip school for few days, maybe when she gets back, the whole incident would be forgotten. The plan worked perfectly, she succeeded in deceiving her father and skipped three straight days of school but by the time she resumed, her fame had spread across the entire S.S. 2 block - The girl who cheated!. Funlola did not make it any better, she ignored her and carried on as if they were never friends.

"Nkechi Chukwu!", Mrs Owolabi, her class teacher came in and called. The principal wants to see you now. Everyone turned to look at her, cold beads of sweats broke out on her fore-head, she was shivering, her throat constricted. She got up slowly and trotted towards the front. Kudirat squeezed her hand and gave her an understanding nod as she walked past, she felt better, somebody pitied her. As she got into the principal's office, her heart stopped beating. Seated backing her, was her father!. The principal had summoned him. "Goodafternoon," she greeted in a quirky voice gaining their attention. "Yes, Miss Chukwu, how are you". Mr Lawrence the principal spoke. She refused to look at her father who was throwing daggers at her. "You have brought shame to yourself and to your family, science students are known to be very responsible people..…....” he went on and on admonishing her. Hot tears stung at her eyes. If only she had refused attending Bola's birthday party, she would have read and not involved herself in this, if only she did not always look for the easy way out.......she was ashamed of herself. Her father did not talk to her but gave her a long hard stare before walking out after Mr Lawrence office. She was given two weeks suspension and it was going to appear on her testimonial. How would she ever live through this period of her life???....

Friday, August 8, 2008

Feeling so loved....

Yesterday was my birthday & gawd!!...was it wonderful?. In my twenty something long yearsssss....i've never had it this good. I felt loved, special, honored, appreciated, doted on, cared for, pampered, e.t.c. My buddies threw a surprise parry for me, they took me totally unawares, did a good job in concealing it from me, goshhhhhhhhh...do i love them?.....Nyways, i thank God mightily for adding another year to my life, it's gonna be a year of fulfillment, a year of new experiences, a year of greater exploits, e.t.c. I so look foward to it.

I realised that as we grow, we mature & as we mature, we begin to see things differently & understand life better. I used to fantasize alot growing up. At one time, i imagined i was an oyinbo girl with long hair and very rich parents (thanks to the good 'ole American novels- Sweet Valley High, Keepsakes, e.t.c.). At one time, I fantasized i was Winfrey Oprah's adopted child, i fantasized about marrying Will Smith and going to live with him in his million-dollars mansion, i fantasized about singing alongside Pavarotti in an Italian Opera house. There was nothing i didn't fantasize about.....hmmmnnn...those were good old dayz sha. As i grew older, my eyes opened, my many many fantasies died, they drifted away from my consciousness. I had other distractions......other things occupied my mind. I was learning the game called life.

Life doesn't always give to you what you planned for all the time, it throws up new surprises, some pleasant, some sour......you've got to be tough, you've got to be prepared, you've got to be brave. You've got to learn to lean on a greater & higher power- GOD. I have seen a fifty something old man who lies to himself that he is an American , meanwhyl, he's never been to America before. Because of the frustration of being denied American visa for many years, he settled for living the American dream in NAija...how pathetic!, meanwhyl, he's an urhobo man ooooo.....lol

Longtime ago, I set out goals for myself. Things i wanted to achieve, and at what age to achieve them. I'm looking at myself right now & saying "Girl, you've not done badly at all!", i have come a very long way! I haven't achieved it all, there's still a whole lot to achieve but i've tried. I'm not complacent, i'm not slipping, i am ever so determined. I want to thank God for bringing me thus far ..... I thank God for the friends & family he put around me.....my spiritual leader p.p. & his wife, they have contributed in making & moulding me into who God wants me to be....I'm grateful!

Just can't stop beaming.....